Well, it's August 1,2008 and yesterday was my 6th year anniversary, so now I'd like to continue with my story.
The first thing we did was to come clean to our parents (especially mine) and told them everything that had been going on. Like all the times I'd call in the middle of the night and said Andy, (my husband) had to go on an emergency call and needed some cash or I'd ask for money to pay a bill, but took the money and bought crack, or driving to Miami at 2:30am, (occassionally with my daughter in the car) to buy like $30 or $40 worth that would be gone before I'd get back home.
My parents were shocked to say the least, but yet proud of us for coming forward with the truth. We told them not to give us cash anymore or their bank card.
Talk about a weight lifted off my shoulders or the guilt. I felt so much better and relieved that they really and finally knew. We also had to explain things to our 12 year old son and 6 year old daughter. With my son, I told him everything and explained that mommy and daddy were crack addicts and now we were recovering addicts and that was one of the reasons we were having so much trouble in our household, but not the only reason. Answered any and all of his questions. As for my daughter we just told her that mommy and daddy were sick and trying very hard to get well.
For the next 3 years, I struggled alot to stay clean, especially evrytime something wasn't going well, but I did it. Then On August 1,2005, my son and I had a big, blowout fight and he took his clothes and computer and went storming 2 doors down to my mom and dad's house, said he hated me and hoped I'd die. My parents yelled at him for talking bad of his mother and still lives with them today.
When my son left, it just about killed me. I guess that's what sent me into therapy. We found out that I am slightly agoraphobic, severly clinicly depressed, mood disorder, and a couple other things. After almost a year, they finally put me on some medication to try. After about 6-8 months, I started noticing less days with severe depression. Continuing therapy, even to this day, has helped me tremendously! I'm still working through alot of things, but I'm getting there.
My relationship with my son is so much better. He still lives with his grandparents, but we are very close. They moved 1 1/2 years ago to Morriston,FL.
We talk often and text all the time.
Now I'd like to mention and thank a really good, fairly new friend because after talking to her one time on the phone, she empowered me to want to help other people that might be going through the same thing, so I decided to start writing about what I've gone through and what I'm still dealing with and trying to learn how to come to terms with, so Rebecca Erikson, thank you so much for helping me to break free. What a wonderful feeling it is! I also, want to thank my mother, who's always been my cheerleader. Mom, I appreciate everything you've done for me and always being there when I needed you, no matter what. Thank you and I LOVE YOU!!!!
Well, that's it for now, but there will be more.